Home's Embrace, Holiday's Scent
personal enough or maybe not
Доброе утро. Сегодняшнее воскресное утро особенно тепло встречается1. Today, many meanings seem to fall into place. Как так? Perhaps because today I recall with special tenderness those who gave me the chance дышать, видеть и слышать2. I mean my parents, my grandfathers and grandmothers, and deep into the generations. They chose to better themselves through their children.
Прости мне this long prelude, но мне хочется поделиться мыслью, которая появилась3 благодаря тому, что я через Фёдора Достоевского и through my beloved forum “Istoki”, через эту рассылку, а главное — Тебя, смогла найти в себе силы смотреть страху в глаза и не сворачивать с пути4. Talking is easy; doing is what matters. “Глаза боятся, руки делают”5 — повторяй себе, когда сомневаешься, когда боишься открыться кому-то6. To be open to the world is within everyone’s reach, yet few dare to take that step. What makes it possible? Living, real people.
In other words, the main thing, as they say, is to set your priorities right. When something truly consumes you, at some point you stop eating, drinking, sleeping, and begin to think that this’s normal. And young people’re especially prone to this. И это очень опасно7. Ну вообще для жизни опасно — to dive so deeply into something that you lose yourself. Because you can lose yourself, and then we no longer have the tool needed to connect with anything.
Once I was standing at a service в одном из самых старых храмов моего города, the very place where one of Russia’s most revered saints, Seraphim of Sarov, was baptized. У меня выступили слёзы от той радости8, that, through love, I managed to illuminate those dark corners I feared to look into. I’m writing about myself now as I no longer fear saying something too much. Если скажу — вы дадите мне знать, а я внимательно выслушаю9.
Но почему? It’s precisely because I don’t want to get lost. Я хочу, чтобы каждый голос помогал мне пройти эту жизнь10 с улыбкой, even if my feet’re calloused from the journey.
A special and deeply kind reason for this lies in the birth of the Christian Church. Orthodoxy is a very important and strong component of Russian culture. The Church is “соборность” — a spirit of communal unity. Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote that the Russian person is a “universal human being” — a hermit, yet also a gatherer. Он ищет счастье в других, но должен искать его в себе11. On one hand, finding happiness in others means helping them see the fire and strength within themselves; on the other, it means discovering one’s own inner power and endurance through others, gaining the energy to fight for a kind heart. И это прекрасно12, нежели13 просто работать, чтобы купить себе дом, в котором сидеть вечером одному14 with your thoughts, only to end up shooting yourself later.
Рискуй, будь смелым. Я никогда не устану это повторять15.
And now to the main point. Today in Russian Orthodox churches, one can witness a celebration of greenery. It’s Trinity Sunday — a feast full of light, fragrance, and life.
Today churches’re adorned with birch branches
This tradition has several explanations. First of all, birches may remind us of the oak grove of Mamre, where there was a tree under which God — the Holy Trinity — appeared to Abraham in the form of three angels. This scene is depicted in icons of the Trinity.
In church people prayerfully remember those who have passed away, которые дороги нашему сердцу16. They honour their memory through a strive to become better people. This’s the best gift they can offer those who are no longer with them but remain close to.
И вот когда слёзы подступили, я поняла, how deeply grateful I’m for all the difficult moments in my life — for it was through them that I learned how strong I truly am, how to carry my entire life in my own hands. There’s no book with chapters; there’s only one canvas. And this image is whole, where every old brushstroke is as visible as the newly laid ones. Embracing it, you embrace yourself with all your flaws and strenght.
The Holy Trinity is a special symbol, and of course, Dostoevsky offers his own small, childlike representation of it in his story “A Little Boy at Christ’s Christmas Tree” amongst many others, even in The Karamazov Brothers. Images and people help us move forward. If they could do it, why couldn’t we be able to? Probably that’s why icons of saints who performed miracles — hang in our churches. :) Each of us can perform a miracle. Trust your heart. Asking for forgiveness is not hard — anyone who loves will always forgive. Вот любить — это сложнее17.
И сегодня в это тёплое утро мне вспоминаются рассказы my grandfather used to tell how, in the middle of the 20th century, he and his mother would cover the floor with fragrant herbs. So, when the churches were out of the Soviet union good will, the families turned their homes into churches, to a certain extent. Family, in Russian tradition, is a little church and a heavy anchor that helps to stand firm even in the strongest storm. They couldn’t bring birches to their houses yet could cover the floor with green.
I’d like to end this letter with quotes from the works of Ivan Shmelev. Once I wrote about him here. In his book “Лето Господне” (The Summer of the Lord ), he writes:
...И вот приближался другой великий день — Святая Троица. Дом украшался берёзовыми ветками, пахло свежим хлебом, молитвой и цветами...18
In the story “Дом, в котором я родился” (The House Where I Was Born), the writer describes domestic life and rituals connected with religious holidays:
Before Trinity Day, the house was decorated with birch and aspen branches; fresh herbs were placed in the corners — clean and fragrant like the scent of prayer. In the evening, Mother would read the troparion before the icons: ‘O Heavenly King, the Comforter…’ — and we listened as silence and light seemed to breathe from those words.
Even such a simple description brings a sense of peace and kindness. Who among you remembers the smell of warm grass or the damp warmth of the earth after rain in the Kursk forest? If you do, then truly, I’m happy, because it means you’re still able to feel life, and thus, to cherish yourself and others.
Письмо длинное, написанное за раз19, но я очень благодарна за то, что твои глаза читают уже эти последние строки20.
Take care of yourself. Try to eat well, and listen closely to the voices of those you love.
feels especially warm; although встречаться means “to meet up”
to breathe, to see, and to hear
a thought that arose
I found the strength to face fear head-on and not turn away from my path.
The eyes are afraid, but the hands must act
repeat this to yourself when in doubt, when afraid to open your heart to someone.
It’s very dangerous.
Tears came to my eyes from the joy
If I do, you’ll let me know, and I’ll listen carefully
walk through this life
He seeks happiness in others, but must seek it within himself.
This is beautiful
than
sit alone in the evening
Take risks. Be brave. I will never tire of repeating these words.
dear to our hearts
But to love — that is the real challenge.
...And another great day was approaching — Holy Trinity Day. The house was adorned with birch branches, and the air smelled of fresh bread, prayer, and flowers...
was written all at once
your eyes have reached these final lines